WhiteShorts, Round 1

So if you've ever run with me, you'd know that I go hard, but pretty much goof off the whole time. You'd also know that I hate runners with bad etiquitte. Bad runner's etiquitte = I will smash you.

Approximately 1 month ago, a new addition showed up to our fun run group. The key word here is fun. It's not a race, we run as a group. So anyways, this new guy shows up. Cool. Ok. Hi new guy. New guy goes out with the fast group. Ok, cool. I'm not running with the top group tonight--they were going really fast! So we're doing an Alaska route of sorts, and when we make a turn, I notice that WhiteShorts (which is what Tom and I have named him, since the first time he came he was wearing white basketball shorts) went straight. I felt bad--he's new, he's wearing white shorts, and he's getting lost. Ok, so I run about .5 miles back to get him, and make sure he knows the route.

I come up on WhiteShorts, who is now going the right way again, and I say oh, we turned, it's this way. He looks at me, he says "Ok, thanks." And he sprints past me. To catch up to the group that I had been running with before I turned around to go get him. Sprints past me, won't even run with me. Ok, hmmm. So I catch back up to the group I was with. WhiteShorts is there, but trying to run out front so he's not "really" with the group.

So my first WhiteShorts experience was less than positive. He was rude. No need to sprint ahead of me after I ran .5 miles back to get him! We run with the group. This ain't no race!

My 2nd WhiteShorts experience. A few weeks ago, WhiteShorts is back in full force. He'd been coming more regularly. I had felt no pressure to let him know that while he may be fast, I can hang. But this day, he went out with my group (since we were the lead group that day, and well, WhiteShorts always has to go with the fastest group). We're coming down Colesville to Eastern, and I'm on the sidewalk. WhiteShorts is running in the street so he can be towards the front. A car is coming, and WhiteShorts jumps up onto the sidewalk, I nearly fall on my face after being cut off by him. Damn you WhiteShorts! (I should metion that WhiteShorts may know that we refer to him as WhiteShorts since Tom and I were discussing his presence with him around. But that's beside the point).

Well, I was mad tired from a smokin' fast Sligo-Ritchie Loop on Tuesday with AF Chris (who is a hill monster, for real), so I dropped back and ran with Steve, and then Amy. I also got run over by a car that day, but that's not really part of this story (though I bet WhiteShorts wouldn't have even stopped if he'd been there).

WhiteShorts, its on. So this past Tuesday, April 7, I decided that it's time to show WhiteShorts he ain't so fast. James lent me a little strategy, and we decided that James would take WhiteShorts out at a blazin' pace (WhiteShorts always insists upon running with the front group, even if the group is way too fast) and I'd run with AF Chris (who is the best pacer ever so I knew we'd be within striking distance as WhiteShorts slowed). Low and behold, after the gigantic Ritchie hill, there is WhiteShorts, within striking distance (I should note that we got stuck at a 2 minute light, giving WhiteShorts a 2 minute lead on us). Well WhiteShorts had fallen behind from the lead pack--couldn't keep up. AF Chris passes WhiteShorts. WhiteShorts is still falling behind, I can see him. I'm pushing hard so I can get him...that little bitch cuts a corner, bigtime! We're almost back to the store, and WhiteShorts is no where to be seen.

Apparently he turned off a block early (he never does that). I like to think he turned off early because he didn't want to come in with me right on his heels--everyone would then know that WhiteShorts isn't as fast as he thinks he is.

Thus, WhiteShorts Round II will take place next Thursday, April 17, at 7:oo p.m. Our strategy is still the same: take him our hard, strike in the 2nd half.

WhiteShorts, your ass is going down--for the 2nd time.