WhiteShorts vs. Liz: Everyone knew it would happen

I should backstory this by saying that about 3 weeks ago WhiteShorts apparently got in a shouting match with a pedestrian and sort of flipped out. And now there is a nice disclaimer in the fun run emails saying that runners need to be courteous.

Well well, it's been a while since I've had any type of showdown with WhiteShorts. I've had softball on Thursday nights, and have therefore been running on my own after our games. And WhiteShorts doesn't come Tuesdays, so that's out too. Well, it just happened that the stars aligned and my game was rained out and WhiteShorts and I both end up at Pacers on Thursday 5/28. I should note that I was a few minutes late, and therefore started approximately 800 meters behind my normal group. So I hussle my ass to catch up. And low and behold, WhiteShorts is running with my crew. (Apparently James went out with Jeff, and WhiteShorts learned his lesson about going out with James during WhiteShorts Round 2).

Ok. I'm a pretty nice girl. I believe in 2nd, and 3rd, chances. So I'm running with Sarah, and WhiteShorts and Sam decide to run with us. Cool. So me and Sarah are chatting it up, and I turn back to WhiteShorts and say "hey, I'm Liz, what's your name?" We thus proceed to include him in conversation until the turnaround point. I did tell him to feel free to pass us if we are holding us up, but he said that he didn't know the route (I should note that it was out and back along Sligo, and I told him where the turnaround was). Well, he runs with us to the turnaround, and then we turn around, and he proceeds to run approximately 30-40 meters ahead of us (which I always find a bit annoying when people do that but whatever). Well, WhiteShorts is confused when we have to make a few winding turns, so he shouts back to us, "which way which way?" I shout "Left!" Ok, still running 30-40 meters ahead of us. We get to another bridge, which we must turn left to cross, and then turn right to keep going straight ahead. WhiteShorts turns back and says, "Which way? Which waaay?" I point left to cross the bridge. We cross the bridge slightly behind him and he's saying, "Which way which way?" I finally say, "I'm done shouting out the route. Either learn the route, or run with the group." WhiteShorts doesn't like that very much and gets mad. I catch my breath and say (as he's bitching who knows what, told me I was mean or something), "Listen, listen" (I was going to explain to him that it's difficult to shout when running hard but that I was glad to explain the route to him). Well he cuts me off, throws his hands up in the air and says, "Whatever you could have just told me the way to go! Just stop, just drop it, its done." I say, "Well you don't need to be an asshole about it. And he runs off...30-40 meters ahead of us.

Ok, whatever. We all know WhiteShorts has some issues. We all know I have issues with WhiteShorts too. Well, WhiteShorts doesn't know the damn way back! So we finally get to the point where we cross a small bridge and head back to the store, and he runs right past the bridge. So we yell out, "Go right!" And he beats us back to the store by maybe a minute. Ok cool. I'm cooled off, I'm going to explain to him what the issue was (I can't shout things out all the time) and tell him I have no problem with him running with me, but that my problem was with his expectation that we dictate the route as we run.

Well I go up to WhiteShorts and say, "Hey I'm not trying to fight with you, but the issue was..." and he cuts me off: "DROP IT! You should have just told me the route." Me: "I'm trying to explain..." Whiteshorts cuts me off again: "You just HAVE to get the last word in don't you? Just SHUT UP." Me: "FINE buddy." WhiteShorts: "JUST SHUT UP, shut your big mouth! What's your problem? You just have to get that last word in don't you."

Me (in my head): WTF is wrong with this dude? Nuts!

So I get my keys and leave. So much for 3rd chances. This was not a good situation. I was not very happy. In fact, I was crazy mad. And it was really sort of embarassing...because WHO DOES THAT!

So, WhiteShorts: I hate you. You are a jerk.

As Tom says, "WhiteShorts probably has gynophobia." I agree.

WhiteShorts (n.): Someone who committs a running faux paus. Ex: He was a total WhiteShorts.

WhiteShortsed (v.): To committ a running faux paus. Ex: He totally WhiteShortsed me on that last turn!